we bought her a soda- diet pepsi to be exact

I want to quickly talk about what happened today. It was my last official day of junior year (finals next week, but still... ) and some friends and I had the most amazing experience. It gave me chills. 

We had finished school for the day, were saying goodbyes, and then Elizabeth, Ana and I decided to walk to Starbucks. We had some time to kill since I had an hour and a half until I needed to pick up my brother. It was a nice day, a nice walk- nothing spectacular. Elizabeth asked all about Jr. year and Ana contemplated if she would return next year (she's an exchange student from China). 

We rounded the corner, and were just across the street from Starbucks when we walked by a woman, sitting, holding a cardboard sign. About five feet later something in me screamed "GO BACK"- so I did. Elizabeth and Ana caught on to what I was doing and didn't miss a beat. 

Her Sign

Now, I'm very much of a people person. I have no issue starting conversations, but as we stood in front of this women I realized that I had no idea of what to say. I mumbled something about her sign and feeling like I needed to talk to her.

Elizabeth, on the other hand, has an unusual way with words and people. She walked right up to the woman and said "I feel like you need a hug". She was shocked, of course, but accepted the affection. 

The woman put down the sign and on the back was something so simple and heartbreaking: God please give me the strength and the trust that i need

We talked for a bit. She told us her story and how she has been running into trouble with her abusive ex-husband, and is going to court tomorrow. As the conversation progressed, it was clear that she's a Christian. She explained how Francis Chan (who's one of my favorite, as well) has been a light in her life, how his sermons gave her the strength to get out of the relationships.

The way she talked about God was so raw and open. She obviously isn't in the best part of her life, but she's managed to hold onto hope, even though she's felt bitter and angry. She knows that God's grace will cover her.

We offered to buy her lunch. She declined, but asked for a soda- diet pepsi to be exact. When we gave her the soda, she held up a pack of cigarettes. 

"I've got five left in here. It's the last five I'll ever smoke." Her voice was a voice of conviction and bravery and uncertainness and the brokenness. 

Before leaving, we prayed together. We went our separate ways, one to a support group and three to a cup of coffee. 

Sometimes it's important to talk to people. It's hard, I know, and sometimes it's just not the right time, but sometimes it is. Sometimes someone needs reassurance that there's a light at the end of the tunnel or something like that. 
Sometimes you just need a diet soda and a prayer. 

"Clannad" Review

Aah the first anime I've watched since FMA (I think?). I kept telling myself that I wouldn't start another anime until I finished my FMA/FMA:B comparison, but that didn't really happen... oh well. 

I am soooo glad that I watched "Clannad" (thanks to James over at J and J Productions!) It was a very fun show. It absolutely makes it into my "top 10" list of animated TV (as in, not just anime, but other shows as well. Like TCW and ATLA)! There is a very fun feel to it, and it kept me on the edge wondering "what happens next?"

Alright, onto the review!

sorry, i lost the source :(

Synopsis ( I can't find a good one, so I guess I have to write my own lol):
High school senior Tomoya Okazaki is bored with his life. His school has nothing to offer, he and his father have a distant relationship, and his one friend only adds to his trouble. In a chance meeting with a strange girl, Nagisa Furukawa, his life gets turned upside down. The show follows their journey to revive the drama club, help classmates, and unravel a strange mystery.

(how was that for my first time?)


Genre: 
Comedy, Drama, Fantasy, Romance, School, Slice of Life, Supernatural

This is absolutely one of the best animes I've seen, and would recommend it to anyone who is already into anime. I don't think it would be the best thing to start out with, but if you can handle the moe style, then go for it! 

Warnings: Very little violence, other than some over-exaggerated cartoon violence.

Because no one would ever survive that

There is very little foul language (much less than you would find at a real high school, that's for sure). 
I feel that it might have been because I was watching the english dub, but there were quite a few references to a god that the characters pray to, but it does not listen/care. I personally just attribute that to the dub, and the fact that really, whichever god they're praying to is probably a deity of one of Japan's main religions, seeing as only 2% of the population is actually Christian. I really don't know what to make of it, honestly. It felt kind of out of place in the story. It's very minor- I just thought I would mention it.

Plot and Production:
The plot is well thought out, and each episode flowed smoothly into the next. I feel like there are two main parts to the show, the first half: a mystery, and the second half: achieving a goal. The underlying mysteries constantly has viewers questioning the direction of the plot, because there are so many possible outcomes! Though some aspects are predictable, it doesn't leave a feeling of "ugh, the writers should be more creative".

Obviously this show is heavily moe, but the animation is sharp and relatively smooth. It's more of a matter of if you can tolerate the huge eyes and crazy effects! I watched the English dub, and thought that the voice acting was awesome! The actors all did a great job, and they didn't pull out of the story at all (you know, like make me realize that they are recording in a booth, not being their characters... that feeling, yeah...)

Characters:
The word "clannad" comes from Gaelic roots, meaning "family". This is most defiantly a fitting name for the show, as it is about a group of friends that have a very family-like dynamic (Kyou and Tomoya are totally mom and dad). There are LOTS AND LOTS OF CHARACTERS, so I'm grouping families together!

Tomoya Okazaki

Tomoya Okazaki, our lovable, sarcastic delinquent, is the lead of the series. He is a quick thinker, and helps a number of friends through the series. He rarely looks for a fight, but will fight back when attacked first. Much of the story revolves around him learning about his friends, their past, and helping them. He's an interesting character, and David Matranga's acting is very good, and possibly better than the two other anime's I've seen him in. (he was also in Angel Beats and Hakuouki)

Nagisa Furukawa

This cutie here, Nagisa Furukawa, is the leading lady of the show. Though she might seem shy, her dream is to start the drama club back up. She cares deeply for other people, and is overall a very likable character. Her most obvious flaw is that she worries to much, and is very self conscious, which is a foil to Tomoyas confidence. It's hard not to like her, especially since she loves almost everyone she meets, always trying to see the good in people.

Akio and Sanae Furukawa

Nagisa's parents. My OTP of the series. They are adorable and make me do this:

Ryou and Kyou Fujibayashi

The twins are the last characters I'm going to mention, because there are SO many other great characters, and this post would take forever if I don't stop.
So yes. The twins.
Kyou (right) is very protective of Ryou (left), who is much more quiet than her older sister. They are both wonderful characters, but I feel that Kyou gets more character development, because she bonds with Tomoya more (like I said- the mom and dad of the group), and is much more... loud. Yeah. She's loud. I love her to pieces.
And Ryou is smart and adorable, so it's all good.

Availability:

Available on Hulu instant play, Netflix DVD, and AnimeFreak

___________________________

Alright, well, now I'm off to start the sequel- Clannad: After Story!

Acceptance and Feminism

Lol that title sounds really deep. 
This post is not very deep. It's about something that a girl at school told me at lunch the other day, and it was something that was very interesting, and very true. It's also about feminism. Mostly about what she said.
*I also have some questions/comments/disclaimers at the very bottom of the post that I'd like y'all to read :p *
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Feminism: The doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men. (Dictionary.com)
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Let us look at various instances in my life and my rambling, that all leads up to something that Audrey said to me. Something that I had always known, but something that I never knew. It was like when I woke up in a cold sweat a few days after I turned sixteen and whispered to myself "oh. my. god. I'm 16. I'm the same age as Zuko." I knew I was 16, but it didn't hit me until I related it to something so important to me. 
--------------------------------------------------------------------

As my friends and I were eating lunch on Thursday, we overheard someone at another table make a joke about feminists. I honestly don't remember the joke, but it was kind of funny, and the person telling it started with "Don't be offended. This is just a joke."

She continued on, and I half listened, too involved with eating a somewhat messy sandwich to really care that much.

Hashini, one of my very best friends, looked over at Alana and I shyly and said "I've hear 'feminist, feminist, feminist' all the time, but what is a feminist?"

Alana said something along the lines of "Extremists who burn bras and hate men."

I knew feminists have a bad name from the crazy extremists, but, come on, we're not all that bad.

Oh, wait, I never told my friends I'm consider myself a feminist because when I bring it up, they look at me like I'm crazy.

I remember not wanting to mention anything at school that could sound vaguely feminist, because so many students at my school refer to feminists as "feminazis". Sexist jokes litter the side comments in lectures. Encouraging the boys to to better in class "so that they can support a family" is an underlying theme in the school. My history teacher said that "feminism is useless and only hurting feminists cause.*"

I dare you, Mr. History Teacher, to tell that to Malala Yousafzai, who was shot because she believed girls should be educated. Tell that to the woman who used to cut my mom's hair, was kidnaped as a child because her necklace hung outside of her abaya. Tell that to the poor girl in Steubenville, who's rapists were pitied by the news, their futures mourned, while she was shamed because she couldn't stop them. Tell that to my friend who's pastor told her "Your parents wish you were a boy", even though that was not true. Tell that to the women all over the world who are treated as less because of their gender!

Maybe the US no longer needs feminism on a grand scale, but much of the world still does. Until you can tell me that in ever nation across the planet women are safe, allowed to learn, and treated equally and with respect, I will not stop being a feminist.

I go to a Christian school, and, honestly, I believe Christians more than anyone should be the most likely to support equal rights. Of course, it doesn't work like that. One time in class, some guy made a really sexist joke. I was too slow to react, and then someone else chimed in with "Oh, don't say that in front of Lexi, she's one of those feminazis."

Tell me- how many feminists have killed by the millions simply to make their point?

None. 

I stayed silent about my views on feminism, because I see the flaws in the system and realized that it is not the best word to attach to my name. So I was ashamed. 

But I guess God did not want that. 

I looked at Hashini and told her "Not all feminists are that bad. I consider myself a feminist, but I don't really like telling people that, because of the... misconceptions and extremists attached to the name."

Because, let's face it, there are the extremists that Alana mentioned.

After I said that Audrey (who is someone that I really admire, she's in our performing arts class, and is an amazing actress/singer/person) turned around from where she was sitting and said something relatively profound to me.

She turned around and said, "But if you hide that your a feminist, then you can never make the image of a feminist better,"

Woah. That wasn't some "be yourself and support what you want" crap, that was actually pretty insightful. And she didn't stop there.

"If feminism is seen as something so bad, then there are more people, louder people giving it a bad name then there are people who are doing the right. It's like being a Christian. Do you hide being a Christian because of the negative stereo types? Of corse not! You do your best to show people the good in Christianity. Just because you're Christian doesn't mean that you're... oh, I don't know, an over-zealous 'dirt-bag republican' that everyone makes us out to be.

You need to treat feminism in the same way. Don't hide your beliefs because people have a negative view of them. Instead, change that view, be the good that people see in it. Be the one who people look up to and say 'That's what a real... whatever... looks like'. There's no use hiding yourself, that doesn't help you or anyone else."

Beautiful

(I give some credit to myself for paraphrasing her)

She has a point, though, and not just about feminism. It really applies to many other aspects of life (like how she mentioned Christianity). I just thought I would share with you.

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*In some ways he is right. Like the extremists Alana mentioned. People see them and distance themselves from feminism. I see his point, but in the context of the time, he was wrong.

I realize that feminism is a mix of good and bad. Feel free to ask me questions on any of my beliefs. I'm not exactly going to walk around with "feminist" painted on my forehead. Nope. I'm not going to be a crazy internet activist, either, because that would get me no where. I'm just going to continue to support the girls all over the world who still are not treated equality. Also, hating men is not feminism, that's sexism.

Obviously I paraphrased Audrey, but I do remember quite a bit of what she said, and I did my best to keep it to that.

My post on Kraken Con will be up soon. And hopefully my FMA/FMA:B comparison will be up by mid-June. Sorry, but school's busy, and it doesn't allow for me to write a full-blown comparison on two shows. I'll try to get my art up on time  (May 1... I'm doing two months/one post), but I can't find my camera's charger!

I'm thinking of changing my blog's name. Idk what to, but I'm not sure if I want to. Any suggestions?
Also, I may change my internet name to ShaakThusa, because that's more... me. (mash-up of Shaak Ti and Aithusa, my two main internet names. Obviously I would still just be called "Shaak", but still)

Let me know how you like the Verdana font, I find it easier to read, and I hope y'all do, too.

And a page just shared this on facebook, and I feel like it's relevant.

Anatomy Rap

The other day we were asked to write a rap/poem/song/story about the Endocrine System. So Anne and I wrote a rap! Actually, it's a parody of Macklemore's "Can't Hold Us"... yep, so here it is :p

"Endocrine System"

Endocrinology, listen up!

Where it is, what it does, what it is, what it isn’t.

Learning ‘bout a system that’s controlling all the hormones

Like the Pituitary, Pineal, Parathyroid and others

They’re up! Brain base, respectively, center of the brain, right around the throat

Somewhere above the thymus and thyroid. Endocrine, yep, yep, we’re not androids

Yup. Throat, location, this here is our thyroid, close above the thymus,

And they’re all near the head

Going down, I shed my skin and see my adrenals on my kidneys, and then, for the Women there’s the ovaries

And yet I’m not done.

Pituitary glands control all else,

The pineal glands always help you to sleep really well.

Pancreas, regulates sugar in the body with insulin

Parathyroid controls the growth of the bones,

The thymus creates T-cells so disease leaves you alone

Adrenals pump the adrenaline, rapid heart and breathing

Got ducts? They’re the E-X-O-C-R-I-N-E glands,

Endocrine go straight to the bloodstream, can they be ductless? Yes they can.

Ovaries and testes are located downstairs,

They control reproduction and they work together as a pair

Ducts

Not like duck duck goose,

The kind with glands and duct duct juice

Spread it across the body

Ducts out here,

Now there’s the Exocrine,

Pumpin’ substance to the outside,

And the Endocrine, which keeps it all inside

Wait ‘till we go back, this is the body

These are the glands and all of their functions

So we put them in a song it’s the endocrine system

It’s the endocrine system

Wait ‘till we go back, this is the body

These are the glands and all of their functions

So we put them in a song it’s the endocrine system

It’s the endocrine system

Companions

Companions

A "Doctor Who" one shot

By Shaak Ti

This FanFic takes place not long after the events of "Angels Take Manhatten". I was having an overload of feels from Amy and Rory leaving, so I write this. Found it in my Google Drive and decided to post it (sometime my drive feels more like a buried treasure than a bunch of old papers/random stuff :p)

It had been three days since Amy and Rory had been taken away from him. Three long, sad days. There was no life to the TARDIS anymore, without his companions. River needed to be dropped off at some rich lady's ball in the 1700's, so there was no comfort to be found in her. No, it was just him. The last time lord, the lonely mad man with a box. "The raggedy Doctor", he heard the name in Amy's voice and it brought tears to his eyes. It was time. Time to add the Girl Who Waited and the Last Centurion to the room of companions.

The Doctor groaned as he stood. He must have been sitting on that bench for hours, or maybe just a few minutes. It was hard to tell, being lost in thought like that. He walked through one of the TARDIS's many maze-like corridors, ending at an ornate wooden door. With heavy hearts he grasped the cool brass knob and opened it. There he stood, taking in everything. It wasn't often that he went into this room that was thick with memories, losses, and a little glimmer of happiness. He grabbed a large frame out of a small closet to the right of the door. This will do.

Much time (or no time at all? You never really can tell in the TARDIS) later the frame was filled with wonderful pictures of Rory, Amy, River and the Doctor. He hung the picture on an empty space on the wall. It was funny, only when he lost the companion was there room for one more picture.

He stepped back and admired his work, sadness again clutching it's cold fist around his hearts. Then he looked to the corner of his eye, as he had told Amy to do some time close to 100 years ago. That was a big mistake. There she was, smiling with that beautiful smile of hers, wearing a pink 1950's dress, holding onto the Doctor as they parked for a quick picture on the Queens coronation day.

Rose.

That was it. He couldn't take any more. The tears were few, and they fell without a sound. Oh, Rose, I'm so, so sorry. I... His thoughts were cut short, as he picked up a dead rose lying on the floor. Attached to it was a note that he had written long ago.

Rose,

Oh my dear Rose, I am so sorry. If I could go back in time and change what happened, I would. But I can't. You understand why, don't you? I have the most powerful time traveling device ever, and I can't get you back. Seems rather silly, doesn't it? I only wish I could see you one more time. I don't know why I'm writing this, I know you'll never receive it. But I love you, Rose. I really, really do.

-The Doctor

He put the note back down and then noticed that the back had been written on, too. That's funny, I don't remember writing on the back...

Dear Doctor,

I doubt you will ever receive this, but who knows. It may cross galaxy's and parallel universes to end at you psychic paper. I hope it does. The date here is July 8, 2007. Exactly one year after I got stuck here. I don't blame you, Doctor, I really don't. Mickey, or Ricky as he goes by now, got married last week. I was one of the bridesmaids. Mum and Dad are doing great, but I miss you. I miss you alot.

Love,

Rose

PS. Here I am, 3 years later. I found this note in a drawer, and on the back there was a note from you. I hope you got this. And you know what has happened in between. Go, fly off in your blue box and save the galaxy. Do it for me.

"I love you too," he whispered. And off he went to fulfill Roses request to save the stars, and Amy's: to find a new companion.

And the Raggedy Doctor always kept them close to his hearts.

________________

What's funny is that there was a room similar to the one I described in a later episode of DW, the one when Clara found the heart of the TARDIS or whatever. Yep.

I'll try to have my art up this weekend, but life is crazy busy right now, so I have a few scheduled posts (art, another creative writing assignment I found... things like that). I have my b-day party this weekend (so excited!) and then the load in for the play. Next week will be full of extra rehearsals, and then, on the 6th, 7th, and 8th, we have our actual performances. I'm so excited!

So I found this "about the blogger" thing on Tumblr, and I figured this would be fun to do while I procrastinate on the FMA review (jk, im working on it, but i don't have a lot of time. Expect it around mid-March.)

 Name ➔ If you know me irl then you know what it is

► Will you answer all questions truthfully ➔ yes
► Are you single ➔ single and free! (actually, i'm pretty sure  I'm in a long-term relationship with homework right now -.-)
► Are you happy ➔ yep!
► Are you Italian ➔ yes
► Are you German ➔ yes
► Are you Asian ➔ nope, though one time my friend called me "mentally Asian"... I have no idea what that is supposed to mean.
► Are you angry? ➔  no
► Are you Irish ➔ no
► Are your parents still married ➔ yes

 FACTS
► Birth Place ➔ The land that was fabled to be the island of the Amazonian women in the far west
► Hair Color ➔ blond
► Eye Color ➔ blue, but sometimes they're green
► Birthday ➔ Feb. 3
► Mood ➔ happy
► Gender ➔ what do you think
► Lefty or Righty ➔ righty
► Summer or winter ➔ Winter! Though I like summer, the cool winter days are my favorite. Also Christmas. I love Christmas
► Morning or afternoon ➔ Um... ooh this is hard. Morning? Maybe? It really depends on the day.

THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE 
► Are you in love ➔ with food!
► Do you believe in love at first sight ➔ not really... I believe in "crush at first sight", but you don't really love people until you know them.
► Who ended your last relationship ➔ I've never dated, but in a platonic relationship: me
► Have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ possibly
► Are you afraid of commitments ➔ not really. 
► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ yes
► Have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ if they're secret, how would I know? 
► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ What does that even mean?

CHOICES

► Love or lust ➔ love
► Lemonade or iced tea ➔ iced tea ^.^
► Cats or Dogs ➔ cats (apologies to my dog)
► A few best friends or many regular friends ➔ I am an extrovert. I have many friends that I love to hang with, but a few close friends, as well. I don't think anyone could really have an either/or on this one.
► Television or internet ➔ internet... because then I can watch TV on the internet!
► Pepsi or Coke ➔ Coke (But I prefer rootbeer) 
► Wild night out or romantic night in ➔ Wild night out

► Day or night ➔ both

► IM or Phone ➔ phone

HAVE YOU EVER
► Been caught sneaking out ➔ Nope... well actually the other day I was going to let the dog in/ go walk around my back yard in the morning, and I set our alarm off. 
► Fallen down/up the stairs ➔ More times than I'd like to admit
► Finished an entire jawbreaker ➔ Took me 3 months, but yes, I have
► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ yeah i suppose
► Prank called a store ➔ nope
► Skipped school ➔ I'm sure I have (aside from being sick)
► Wanted to disappear ➔ A few times

PREFERENCES 
► Smile or eyes ➔ eyes
► Light or dark hair ➔ dark
► Shorter or Taller ➔ taller
► Intelligence or Attraction ➔ intelligence! 
► Hook-up or Relationship ➔ relationship
► Funny and poor OR rich and serious ➔ funny and poor

ABOUT ME
► Last Phone Call ➔ Mom
► Last person you hung out with ➔ my brother
► Last thing you ate ➔ potato chips
► Last thing you drank ➔ tea with a candy  cane in it
► Last site you went to  ➔ blogger (duh)
► Last place you were ➔ school

FAMILY
► Do you and your family get along  ➔ usually
► Would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ nope
► Have you ever run away from home ➔ I planned to once, but doesn't everyone?
► Have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ nope


So yeah, now you know a bit about me! 

Yooooooo

Look who's 16! Yay! I got my drivers permit a few days before my birthday, went to winter ball (and brought a picture of Sokka as my date :3) Had my birthday celebration on Sunday (lava cakes and Star Gate-SG1 FTW!) with my family. Monday my cat woke me up at 5:30, just before my alarm went off. When I got to school I tripped on my backpack and did a face-plant in the locker room (oh, what a wonderful way to start my 16th year :p). My friends had decorated my locker and wrote some really sweet notes! Natalia drew me a picture of Ed and Al! After school I did homework and then watched Stargate again. I love that show soooo much! On Tuesday Abby brought me to Farmers Market, and I bought a rock heart and some flowers.

(and now for the deep/thoughtful part of my post)

Last year my parents gave me a pocket-watch for my birthday, and so every night I hear it ticking by my bed. Every time I'm in my room I hear the 'tick-tick-tick'... sometimes I love it, sometimes I can't stand it and have to shove it in a drawer. But, you know what? That thing has been ticking since the day I turned 15. That is about 31,557,600 seconds. That's a lot of seconds... 

So my deep thought is that there are a heck of a lot of seconds of one year. Not so deep or thoughtful...

But I could say "live every second to it's fullest", and I intend to do just that. For the 31,557,600 seconds of my 16 year. Yep.

Oh, man, I'm so tired. I don't even know what this post is, I wrote it over three days and have it scheduled to post on Friday and when I have extra time I add random sentences, because, hey, it wont be posted until 1am Friday morning!

Ok, I'm going to shut up now.

It's been a great week so far :) (And that FMA review /should/ be my next post. And then I'm combining January and February art, simply because I haven't had that much time to draw)